Pfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...It’s the only way that comes in
mind to start this. At least the migraine is gone. Beautiful day.
Feeling: a lot of cleaning to do…
And I never liked that. My dream is to have a maid who cleans everything. I
like keeping it clean. But when it gets really dirty… But I guess that eventually
I am stuck with…me. It’s a feeling like when you come back Home and it’s messy
all around (but strangely, like it is still you who was there doing all that mess
by not being present, at Home). You don’t know where to start. Even the thought
of starting tires you and makes you not start. But it is that damn…conscious or
I don’t know what is that doesn’t allows you to vegetate, to stay in a state of
‘ignorance’? And you start… And the more you do, more you discover not only
that there is cleaning to do but also fixing! Shitty thing. It just makes you
wanna leave the house and build a new one. But then again, it’s not a
considered possibility. Moreover it, you know, you are aware that it is the
same You who will do the same things and be the same as the one who leaves now.
And you start cleaning. And fixing. And it tires you, drains you sometimes
completely but it makes you fill good. DOING always makes you feel good even if
DOING is not your strongest thing.
End on
the day thought: less sometimes is more.
End of the day song: Waiting allnight – Rudimental ft. Ella Eyre
About not being home, inside,
aware, responsible, speed. Taking all for granted because you’re the king of
the world, unbeatable and great, young forever, immortal.
And what happens when you take
things for granted? When you don’t think beyond the pleasure of the moment?
Life gives you a little kick. Slows you down. Puts you down, forces you to
rest, to take it cool. Sometimes really bad. If you’re under lucky star you see
it before and you slow down by yourself. If you’re under a lucky star.
And then…it comes about waking up.
Loosing. Suffering. Crying heart out. Cursing maybe? It’s always something or
someone else to blame but you.
About hope. Awakening. And then,
little by little, determination. Work. Work. Work. DOING. Searching for
solutions. Trying. Falling. Failing. Getting up. Again and again. Until the
right solution comes along.
And theeeen… It’s about people. You
met or you knew before. Who know you and supported you and helped you get up, sited
down next to you helping you.
In the end it’s about succeeding.
It’s about victory. It’s about happiness. It’s about joy of living. Loving the
living. But aware. And strong.
It’s all about love. In the end…it’s all about love.
